The past year I have spent moments contemplating much.
Contemplating the thread that weaves through my fingers keeping me from letting go into insanity.
Contemplating the state of my church, our church, the American church and the church universal.
I have thought about my sin and judgement on others and how it makes me feel less.
I have pondered the what ifs in my life and have given my thoughts selfishly over to the "But I want" way of thinking.
I have sat and criticized others in my mind for their thoughtless actions and ways of doing things...all the while trying not to point the finger at myself.
and I have contemplated the lack of love....real, life giving love that exists in our world, in my country, in my church, and in me.
Love...
when it all comes down to it
is really the only thing we have abundantly to give...
and yet it's the one thing that we hold tightly, keeping it only for special people and for special reasons.
We hold it in because it's the most joyful feeling....and the most hurtful feeling.
I have held my love in....because I get tired. I get tired of feeling so very much.
I have held it in because I get so overwhelmed.....and I fear I don't have enough courage.
Yes....courage.
Courage to go out.....to love someone somewhere that is uncomfortable. Somewhere that's unknown to me.
There is so much need.
But then...I hear of someone like Diane loving so incredibly it breaks me.
Love incarnate.
And I can only hope that I can have the courage to love and affect the way she has.
We, as Christians, all talk so much about loving others for Jesus.
Love others like Jesus.
But sometimes that carries no meaning.
But to see it before your eyes......then it somehow becomes alive.
My friend Diane has done that. She has allowed the love of Christ to pour completely out of her being...and it has already changed one life.
Read her blog to see how.
Because I know that I can only hope to love like that.
To love beyond myself when it doesn't benefit me.
To love when and where others don't go.
Oh, to Love like that.
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1 comment:
i read this last night and i had to stop because i was heading out the door with newly applied make up and i knew if i really let your words sink in i'd boo hoo and have mascara running down my face, and then i would have been annoyed by your sweetness. LOL. but i'm really so touched by this... not because you gave me a shout out(thanks) but because it really doesn't seem that hard to love and i'm just really proud of Traphis and the work she is doing to have a better life. I've told you this before, but there is something about your comments on my blog, facebook, emails, etc that always resonate with me. And it isn't the words... there is energy in them and I can always feel your really good and gentle heart. thanks for being such an encouragement. it really is a gift of yours.
love you.
d
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