The Loves of My Life

The Loves of My Life

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Beginning to Grieve


 This is the first house I have ever lived in.

The very first one.

I grew up in the same apartment, lived in dorms, got married and lived in more apartments. 

It was always my dream to live in a real house.

7 Years ago, my dream became reality when we bought this little house on Harvey Way. 

Jeremiah was only 18 months and I was pregnant with Riley at the time. We had no idea what to look for when purchasing our home, but we were up for the adventure. We found this house the first day we went looking, and 30 days later closed escrow.

The beauty of our home is that we are not the sole owners. The church that Paul works for helped us to buy this home. They put down a hefty down payment with our down payment and share the equity with us. So even though it is our home...it is their home as well. Some may not have liked that kind of situation, but we have loved it. It has helped us keep things in perspective as well as given us the opportunity to do something we couldn't have ever done without them.

Over the past 7 years it has been a blessing to see the congregation of our church take care of us....and their investment. If we ever needed work done.....people have always been there to help. We have a patio, a completely remodeled bathroom, a finished garage, a new gate, a garden in the front and a remodeled bedroom because of the time people took to help us "do it ourselves" (when we all know Paul and I couldn't have done it ourselves!). It truly has become God's house to me. I know that sounds corny.....but I look around our house and I see the many faces of those in our congregation that have passed through our doorway for not only a party or a meal....but also to give their sweat to make the house better for us.

It makes me love my house even more if it was solely our house.

So today....I say with great excitement that we sold our house. I am still in shock that with the market the way it is...we sold it in less than a week. It goes into escrow tomorrow morning and if all goes well......a new couple will be blessed by the hands that have loved this house.

But I am also very sad, and recognize that for a while, I will need to grieve the selling of our home.

My first home.

The home where Jeremiah and Riley have both grown up.

The home that I have sometimes loved to hate....but I have always loved.

The home where our toddlers have done naked runs in the circle of our home after bath-time.

The home where we march to "pajama time".

The home where we created memories with our church community and family community.

The home of Oscar parties and college/young adult get togethers.

The home where our little "surprise" will come home to, only to move out a few weeks later.

It's the home of so many memories and so many dreams come true.

and soon it will be time to say good-bye.

And I'm keenly aware of God's abundant blessing in all this.......and feel overwhelmed by it.



11 comments:

Lisa P said...

Life is so good at teaching lessons, when we pay attention. Good for you for paying attention in this hectic time in your life. Your perspective is so precious, refreshing and inspiring!

Heidi said...

What a beautiful post....

I know what you mean about going through the grieving process.

It's funny - just last night I went for a little drive (just needed to get away for a few minutes) and I found myself sitting outside the house we lived in before this one. We were only there 16 months - but those 16 months were chuck-full of memories...

Our house is for sale now (we've been here 4 1/2 years). It's been on the market for almost a year now. I really want it to sell - but each time someone shows interest in it, there's a little part of me that gets really sad.

Hang in there - you're going to create a whole new chapter of memories in your new home. Take care and good luck with everything!

paul thomas said...

That was a good post wife.

Dionne Sincire said...

this is a touching post!!! i haven't yet had to transition from the house in which my children grew up, but i do often revisit the house in which i grew up. it's interesting how visual i am, and how something as simple as a crack in the wall, a dent in the door, our a tree just outside the yard act as triggers conjuring up sweet memories. but the real gifts are your memories, and that you have obviously stored in your heart. they are eternal. :)

Kristi said...

YEAH! Congrats Jen!! That is awesome.

I TOTALLY understand your grieving. It's funny because even though I've wanted to leave each house that I have lived in for one reason or another....I always find myself driving by....thinking of what memories we made there.

And without fail, I always get sad right before we are about to move...because of those memories. But then, I am in the next house, creating new memories...new chapters of our story....and the sadness goes away.

Looking forward to hearing about your new chapters.

elizabeth said...

I'm all weepy now. Congrats on selling the house! I hope everything goes smoothly. I will be so sad if/when we sell our house someday too. Let us know of ANY help you need.

Rebecca Snavely said...

I really think you made a mistake. Can you get it back?


;) Congratulations! I can't believe it sold so quickly. I agree with all the other comments, a beautiful post that reminds me of moving from the first house I remember and feeling like I was leaving all the memories. But that's the beauty, you take the memories with you. I'm so excited for your move, and thankful that you're taking the time to grieve and acknowledge how the changes affect you.

Elaina said...

Ohhhh so many Memories. I hear ya girl, just reading about selling your house, stirred up many emotions in my own life. I wish that I could tell you that it would get easier, but that house is a part of you and your family. When we first told the kids we were putting the house up for sale, they were very sad. They rejoiced every time, the people who looked didn't want to buy our house. It took us finding a new house, and having that dream in our heads for the kids to be okay with selling. I remember pulling up to our new house to look at it, and Kaleigh said, "I love it," before we were even out of the car. I knew it was the house God had for us. We took a ton of pictures of the old house with the kids in their favorite places before we moved. So many memories, and after a month I still miss our old house and neighborhood. Elaina

Diane Davis said...

i echo other comments here.... what a great post. thanks for sharing your soft heart. and for being willing to sit with the hard stuff rather than moving on too fast. i appreciate that about you. :)

Erika said...

What a compliment that your house sold so quickly - that young couple could probably feel the love!

The Unlikely Pastor's Wife said...

mmm, thank for all the encouraging words.....it reminds me that my memories are with me....not in a structure with four walls.