Doing It.

So there I was....standing in my kitchen making dinner.

Not just any ole macaroni and cheese dinner.....but an actual meat & potatoes dinner with salad to boot! For those of you that know me....that doesn't happen often. 

But there I was.......in the kitchen. Paul had taken Riley out for a bike ride to a little beach near our house (yes- I know, life is hard) and Jeremiah was playing Roller Coaster Tycoon on the computer.

With excitement and juberance....my sweet Riley comes bounding through the kitchen door with a huge smile on her face.

Paul follows her in...

"Mommy, Riley has something very exciting to tell you."

With the biggest smile on her face.....she shares that she just rode her bike for the first time without training wheels.

"I did it!" 

I gave her the biggest hug I could and smiled right back at her......as I looked into her face I don't think I have ever seen her look so proud of herself.

It's taken her awhile to learn how to ride on a bike.....and I didn't even know that Paul was gonna have her try on their bike ride.  It was such a pleasant surprise.

Before Paul walked out of the kitchen he told me that as soon as she was done.....she got off her bike and jumped into his arms. (I'm weepy just remembering him tell me that).

What a beautiful moment. 

...and I missed it.

I was sad, but I was more proud than anything.

When Paul walked out of the kitchen, I couldn't hold back my tears and they slid down my face as I sliced up the tri-tip.

I was teary for many reasons......but mostly because as my daughter and husband walked out of the kitchen, where I was cooking a family dinner into the living room to share with Jeremiah the exciting news, I realized.......

 that I had done it.

that I was doing it.

I had fulfilled a dream that I wasn't sure imaginable......

I had created a family......a whole family.

Growing up with a dysfunctional family I had always wanted a daddy to teach me to ride my bike.

I wanted family dinners where we sat down and talked......or not talked.

I wanted to come home to a house where I knew my mom and dad would be there.....to celebrate with me on all occasions.

So I stood there in the kitchen with tears of joy and amazement. I am continually amazed that I have been given the blessing of a wonderful marriage and beautiful healthy children. 

I am amazed that I can give my children what I didn't have.....and it brings me so much joy.