The Loves of My Life

The Loves of My Life

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Feeling a Little displaced

Today is the last day of summer......and as I read some of my friend's blogs that talk about getting ready for the new school year, I find myself feeling worried. It's a weird feeling. As I look around...we don't have piles of new supplies to put together or get ready. There's no scent of glue or new pencils on my table.....just backpacks and a uniform to put out. I feel powerless. We are new so we don't get " the List".

We are at a new school this year. Jeremiah is entering 2nd grade and Riley is going into kindergarten. As I was taking a shower this morning I was thinking about tomorrow morning and how I can't believe my little girl is entering school. My little baby is growing up, and even though I'll have one more, it's hard to imagine anyone else being my baby since our newest addition is  still in utero. I reminded myself to bring kleenex with me because I know I will sweet Riley, mama's little girl, the one who doesn't like to go any where without her mommy. :)

But my mind turned my beautiful little boy and I found myself suddenly sobbing in the shower. He is the one who has brought me to tears today...he is the one where all my fears lie.
This is a brand new school for him. I know all parents worry about their children making new friends, but my worry is different. He is different. He is a joy....but he is different, and now he is at that age where kids notice. He talks a little too loud, he has a hard time with personal space, and he is a constant mover and noise maker. I cried as all my fears of him not making a friend poured down my body and into the drain. Every parent wants their child to have that one friend.....that one friend that loves you regardless. It took Miah over a year to make that kind of friend at his old school, even in the midst of knowing a lot of kids.  That's a long time. And he's nervous......I'm nervous. I am thankful that he knows two kids, but I know I can't make them his savior. He's a great kid ......and I hope their is another little second grader boy who will show him kindness.  God has been gracious to him....He has been gracious to me. I am sure of his provision for Jeremiah.....but it still doesn't wipe away all my worry.

So...I continue to pour my heart out to God, pleading once again for his goodness and his faithfulness....feeling a little displaced and a little worried.


patti deharo said...

jennie joy....jeramiah will do just fine he has wonderful parents!! and who doesnt like a boy who clings to others I DO! ill never forget the first time i met him and he wouldnt stop hugging me :0) everyone is different in their own way!!!

The Reverend's Lover said...

wow - i'd like to offer a few up for Jeremiah too.

I didn't have the greatest primary school experience - I came home crying a lot. Now, I can see how God used those experiences to build character in my life and I wouldn't trade it..."count it dear joy my bretheren"...


The Reverend's Lover said...

'er pure joy...shoulda looked it up first...haha

edie said...

Your post makes my heart ache. I can't identify with sending a child to school yet and the pain and worry that come along with that but I can identify with wanting my child to feel loved and accepted and safe. Truth be told I have more worry and anxiety about this than I'd care to admit. I find myself fervently hoping right along with you that Jeremiah will find a friend who is genuine and kind - "that" friend you write of.

Please keep us posted on how Jeremiah is doing and how you are doing.

Becky k. said...

Sweet little Lamb!!! I love you! Be strong and courageous.

sargarepa said...

Hey Jen,

Not to minimize your specific concern for Jeremiah at all, because I understand where that comes from, but I think every parent goes through a sense of loss and worry when they send their precious children in to the hands of the unknown. It's scary because we love them with all we have, and we obviously don't see them as the world may see them because we're their parents. You want others to love them the way they have been loved at home.

I second the motion that Jeremiah (and Riley) will be just fine because they have terrific parents. There will be hard times to be sure, but I know you will help him navigate those times, and help him find a significant place in the world.

The Unlikely Pastor's Wife said...

Thank you dear friends for your wonderful words of encouragement and love, and especially thank you for your prayers

Pot Liquor said...

I feel your pain. However the teacher in me has to chuckle a little because, while Jeremiah is unique and special, I have to tell ya that most 2nd graders are "a little loud, have a hard time with personal space, are constant movers, and noise makers". :) :)

I think that he'll fit in just nicely; the numbers are in his favor!!!! :)

Stay encouraged.