At one point in her story, I really resonated with her. She wrote,
" I've felt more and more strongly that there is an activist inside me, waiting for me to be brave enough to let her out."
I have felt more and more lately that there is something inside of me desiring to be a part of standing up for what's right and what's good. There is so much pain and suffering in this world and I want to be able to help in some way. But the only thing I end up doing is saying a prayer. It has nothing to do with a lack of compassion. In fact, I think sometimes I have too much. Most of the time I can't even finish an article in Newsweek or the paper because my tears bleed the newspaper print. I have even, at times, read the headline and decided not to read it knowing of the overwhelming emotion it will stir up in me and sometimes I am already too emotionally drained to go there.
But I know it's there and the injustice in the story still calls out to me.
But what can I do? I am a mother of 2 soon to be 3. I am a stay at home mom with little time who knows nothing of being an activist. I wouldn't even know where to start and what cause to claim. There are so many and my heart hurts for them all. I try to help within our community, there are so many needs there, but my time soon becomes "mine" and I don't always do what I know I should.
I am aware of my excuses and of my lack of self motivation, it's not something I am proud of. I am continually jealous of teenagers that stand up and organize a cause to support some kind of injustice. They just amaze me. If they can start something, why can't I just join?
It's a question I ask myself all the time....and I feel like I am getting closer to being able to let the doer part of me out.
I hope it's soon. I know God calls me to something more......I just hope His voice isn't getting hoarse.